Great observations. Men find drudgery, "shit work" (repetitive domestic tasks, detailed admin work vs "big picture" at work, etc) beneath them. They will find ways to do the visible tasks that get glory (which women enable by stepping up for the other tasks). It's meal planning/clean up or getting kids ready daily vs washing the car or mowing the yard once a week, or cutting a tree once in a blue moon.
My retired mom comes and helps with the kids and dinner… you know what that really is? Another woman to take care of my husband and less for him to do around the house since he “provides”. But it helps me, so thanks mom 🧡
To be brutally honest: humanity is basically a "lion's pride writ large". There, I said it. Always has been, and, barring a truly quantum leap in human evolution, probably always will be, unfortunately.
Reading this and Kate Manne's newest piece in the context of the LA fires really has me thinking and noticing some new things.
Oof, I bet. Hope you and your family are safe and well!!
So true. Resolving the disparities in community care is the next BIG frontier. Thanks for your work Gemma!
And thank you for yours! I still find myself recommending your book all the time.
100% wish I could like this 10,000 times. Love your work Gemma x
Thank you so much ❤️
Great observations. Men find drudgery, "shit work" (repetitive domestic tasks, detailed admin work vs "big picture" at work, etc) beneath them. They will find ways to do the visible tasks that get glory (which women enable by stepping up for the other tasks). It's meal planning/clean up or getting kids ready daily vs washing the car or mowing the yard once a week, or cutting a tree once in a blue moon.
My retired mom comes and helps with the kids and dinner… you know what that really is? Another woman to take care of my husband and less for him to do around the house since he “provides”. But it helps me, so thanks mom 🧡
To be brutally honest: humanity is basically a "lion's pride writ large". There, I said it. Always has been, and, barring a truly quantum leap in human evolution, probably always will be, unfortunately.
A question I ask myself so much. Great article.
“…but they are not in group chats creating a meal train for the friend who is having a baby or recovering from surgery.”
Such a good/challenging question! Great reading.
I’m trying to encourage men to write more about this too: https://theuntethereddilemma.substack.com/p/lifters-leaners-and-social-glue
Praise be. Finally something that makes sense. Don’t turn it around, Bastards.